What do you say to yourself?
I was having a conversation with a client who has been working hard to move her work and home life forward in a way is that deliberate and purposeful. As she spoke about some of the things that stopped her from going all out for what she really wants in life, I was struck by how many negative or unhelpful things she told herself every single day. A certain level of self-doubt, self-limiting thoughts and feelings is normal, however having nothing at all good to say about herself seemed a little extreme.
According to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at the University of Southern California, we have 70,000 thoughts on average every single day. That works out to be 48.6 thoughts per minute. That is a lot going on in our heads at any given moment. Now imagine a large percentage of that is us telling ourselves we will fail if we try, we will lose our pride if we fail, we will be laughed at, we will look like fools if things don’t go well. Is it any wonder why as human beings we spend our lives in our comfort zones, afraid to move forward and grab life with both hands, or try something that feels out of our reach?
We spend so much time championing and pushing others forward and towards their dreams. When things don’t go so well we support and tell them, “don’t worry, you will do it next time, just keep trying, I have faith in you!” So why can’t we seem to do the same for ourselves?
That voice that whispers in our ears, is a natural part of who we are. Some call it our inner critic, whatever name it has for you, it keeps us safe but small, it holds us back from living our true potential. With the right help and over time we can learn to turn it down. A more sustainable way is to consciously re-programme it – give it a new job, to champion us forward as we champion our loved ones. You control it, it’s doesn’t control you…. Easier said than done, I know but it is possible.
Have an amazing day, all. In the meantime, be careful what you say to yourself, because you are listening – 70,000 times a day!